hotel, in a room that faces the direction of SoFi Stadium this time. All of this soothed me and broke my heart in equal measure.Īlmost two years later, I’m writing this story in that same L.A. ARMY friends, meanwhile, sent BT21 merch and funny gifs and messages to let me know they were thinking of me. Two of my closest friends came over one night and we sat in the living room as I showed them “Black Swan,” “Blood Sweat & Tears,” “Dope,” “Daechwita.” My roommate sat patiently through all the BTS music videos in chronological order until she knew all the members by name. In the weeks after my dad died, many non-ARMY friends and family offered me similar kindnesses: they would watch whatever BTS content I sent them. That summer, I walked around my mom’s condominium complex listening to an endless loop of “Spring Day” and Agust D’s “People,” thinking of what I had lost.
#SCREAM 2 SOUNDTRACK LISTING CHRONOLOGICAL TV#
Two months later, my dad’s stroke: anxious flight home, quarantine, no hospital visits, pausing the TV during the “Spring Day” music video to talk to him about where his medicine might be and saying I love you one last time on the phone, the long walk down the stairs to break the news to my sister.
Soon after I arrived home: news reports, work from home, quarantine, empty grocery shelves, DIY masks, spiraling dread. That week is now forever crystallized as Before.